A Tale of Revelations and Sugar
by Unformal Sorrelle
Summary: A cracky AU of 5X06, so spoilers up to this point. Merlin decides not to wait to ride at dawn. He has his own ride, a much faster, scaly, one. Arthur comes along as well, trying to be greatful about the chance to rescue his wife but he's still too bewildered. And all of this can be blamed on Gaius not wanting Merlin to be serious all the time. Be warned, tis a very crazy fic!


A Tale of Revelations and Sugar

_A crack AU to 5X06  
__I don't own anything but my ideas, strange as they may be.  
_

* * *

When Merlin found out Gwen was captured Morgana, he was not happy. This is understandable as Gwen was his first friend at Camelot as well as his best friend. One of them anyways. Arthur and Gwaine also held stock in that position. But still, Gwen was his friend and he had no intention of letting some crazy witch do who knows what with her while waiting for Arthur.

"We ride at dawn." Arthur declared, serious and as grave as his father's tomb.

"I have something better." Merlin said,

"And what would that be? This isn't a time for your jokes Merlin!" Arthur did not look happy. Oh well. So what? Merlin was about to do something completely reckless. He was tied of caution and lying, people ending up dead when he could have saved them. He was going to get Gwen back, before Morgana could do anything else horrible- Like put a snake in her neck or torture her with a snake or- Morgana really liked snakes, Merlin noted- put an enchanted armband on her or smirk her to death. Even if she'd stopped smirking quite so much. Merlin was throwing caution to the wind, knowing that nobody but Gaius would appreciate his cowardice at this moment.

"I'm not joking. I know of a way we can go and save Gwen now. Would you do it?"

"What are you talking about Merlin? And you know I'd do anything to save Guinevere."

"Good." Merlin replied, "Follow me. And don't say I didn't warn you."

"Warn me about what?" Arthur said, bewildered,

"You will see," Merlin told him, "Just-" He paused, almost losing his nerve, "Don't overreact. It's to save Gwen."

Arthur shook his head like Merlin was being an idiot but he followed his manservant, having nothing better to do.

It didn't take long for the pair to reach the clearing. Arthur, of course, was still clueless.

"What are we doing!" He shouted, fearing that Merlin was only playing some kind of cruel joke on him or that he'd finally gone crazy.

"Getting our ride," Merlin responded as if that was the most obvious thing in the world,

"Merlin, nobody is here."

"I have to call him first."

"Call who?"

"Long story short- but remember we are saving Gwen so no overreactions, you promised- I'm a Dragonlord, it turned out that Balinor was my father and there's a dragon who can go much faster that a bunch of horses._O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!_"

And so Arthur met Kilgharrah once again.

"Wha-" Arthur had barely managed to let out before the great dragon had something to say,

"Young Warlock, why have you summoned me in front of the Once and Future King?"

"No time to explain Kilgharrah! Gwen has been kidnapped by a Morgana and we need to save her. Please don't argue but we need to ride you to her."

"I am not a hor-"

"No arguing!"

For once the dragon couldn't offer up confusing riddles or bring up prophecies for Merlin to fulfill. It made him rather grumpy. Arthur wasn't joyful either, getting yanked up onto the dragon's back.

"Why is the dragon alive!" Arthur shouted at his manservant,

"Not now," Merlin sounded minorly bothered as if Arthur was just a buzzing fly, "I need to find Gwen and Morgana. That requires a lot of concentration, so please hold your questions until after your wife is safe."

The king grumbled a little bit but conceded to the warlock's request. He wasn't sure what to think. Apparently, his best friend could control a dragon who had wrecked Camelot. And was a 'young warlock,' whatever that was. Parts of Arthur wanted to lock Merlin in the dungeon or yell at him for betraying him but right now he was still more concerned with Guinevere. If Merlin could help her than Arthur should be thankful. He hadn't reached that point yet but he was attempting to.

Merlin was just so pumped up on adrenaline that it was hard to think straight. He was going to save Gwen! Arthur knew about his secrets! He was flying! Whee!

This was why Gaius usually didn't let Merlin have a bunch of sugar. However, even Gaius could get tired of Merlin's recent ever-present seriousness and may have intentionally dosed him with all the sugar he could get his hands on that day.

If Merlin hadn't been exposed to so much sugar he would have been thinking much deeper, much more angsty thoughts. What was Arthur going to do? Would he execute him? Banish him? How would he take the news that Merlin has been lying for years to him?

Merlin had found that he could have excellent eyesight with his magic's assistance. He felt like a hawk, circling around, looking for his target. It didn't take too long, Morgana and Gwen hadn't gone far. For some reason, Morgana was making Gwen walk the way, slowing their pace greatly. It only took a few minutes to swoop in and spook Morgana's horse.

Morgana fell off immediately since she hadn't had a very good grip on her mount in the first place. She managed to escape serious injury by sheer luck but she still probably sprained her wrist. The witch was frozen in shock from the sight of her brother and his manservant come riding in on a dragon.

"Hello Gwen!" Merlin waved cheerfully. Everyone else was still to full of shock to respond.

"You have a dragon..." Gwen finally uttered,

"Yep!" He smiled, "We've come to save you."

"NO!" Morgana shrieked, "This wasn't supposed to happen! I was going to take Gwen to the Dark Tower and torture her mind with a bunch of mandrake root until she decided to be my friend again!"

"You were going to do what?" Merlin gave her a strange look, "You do know that friends don't torture each other?"

"No, they just poison each other." Morgana responded venomously,

"Hey, you decided to take over Camelot first!" Merlin protested, "The dragon said-"

"You poisoned me because a dragon told you to?!" Morgana seemed to take great offence to this.

"He said it was your destiny to form an alliance in evil with Mordred." Merlin said,

"The same Mordred who literally stabbed me in the back?"

"He's destined to kill Arthur."

"WHAT?" Arthur's jaw dropped, "And when were you planning on telling me this?"

"But I wanted to do it!" Morgana complained,

Gwen stayed silent, wishing that this would turn out to only be an extremely crazy dream.

"It's over Morgana, I'm saving Gwen right now." Merlin said,

"Except you're just a scrawny manservant who can't even beat me in a swordfight. I have magic, or did you forget?"

"I didn't," Merlin said cheerily, "But you don't know something that I know."

"What?" Morgana did not sound amused,

"I'm Emrys." And with that, Merlin threw her against a tree and put an extra sleep spell on the witch. "Climb aboard Gwen!"

...

Needless to say, Merlin was never allowed near that much sugar ever again.

* * *

**A\N**: I am sorry. So, so, sorry. Why did I every write this again? This is one of the weirdest plot bunnies ever. It started with the idea after I watched last episode and wished that Merlin would have just gone all BAM! And saved Gwen with his magic instead of being lost in that forest for a few days. So this was actually going to be a serious fic, believe it of not. Then I got to writing it and all the characterizations and phrasing coming out were of the humor genre. Then the sugar came. Then it officially became crack. I sincerely apoligize for the crazyness and general lack of sanity found in this fic. Sorry again.


End file.
